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Anyós találós kérdések

2010.04.07

 

Anyós találós kérdések


Milyen az ideális anyós?
Amelyik olyan,mint a csillár - lóg és ég.

Melyik anyósnak nincs se menye,se veje?
A vil - anyos - nak.

Mit örököl vagyontalan anyósától a vő?
Házi békét.

Melyik tárgy keményebb a gyémántnál?
Az anyósok szíve.

Miért dob egy marék szódabikarbónát a vő az anyósa sírjába,mikor temetik?
Azért,hogy a föld ne hányja ki.

Mikor a legjobb az anyós?
Amikor már porhanyós.

Mi van akkor,ha az anyós együtt van a vőjével?
Párbaj.

Melyik vő szabadul meg leghamarabb az anyósától?
Az emberevő.

Mi az anyós célja?
A túlvilági szenvedésekre való felkészítés.

Melyik a leggyorsabb anyós?
A vill - anyos.

Mi a legkellemesebb érzések egyike?
Az anyósra való visszaemlékezés.

Miért kell még a leánykérés előtt a leány anyjával beszélgetni?
Mert később,amikor már anyós lesz,úgysem lehet vele beszélni.

Ki a legboldogabb ember?
Aki az anyósa temetéséről megy haza.

Mi különbség van a méh fullánkja és az anyós nyelve között?
Az,hogy a méh azt szúrja meg fullánkjával,aki őt bosszantja,az anyós meg azt üldözi fullánkjával,akit ő akar bosszantani.

Mi a különbség az anyós és a vitriol között?
Semmi,mind a kettő mar.

Hol kezdődik a boldogság?
Ahol az anyós végződik.

Mi különbség van a baleset és a balszerencse közt?
Baleset az,ha valakinek az anyósa a vízbe esik.Balszerencse,ha kihúzzák.

Mi a különbség a mérges kígyó fullánkja és az anyós nyelve között?
Semmi,mindkettőből méreg kerül beléd.

Mi a különbség a kés és az anyós nyelve között?
A kés a sok használattól elkopik,az anyós nyelve pedig egyre élesebb lesz.

Mi a legnagyobb boldogság?
Gazdag anyós sírjára koszorút tenni.

Mikor lehet érzéssel harangozni?
Amikor az anyóst temetik.

Mi a legjobb csizmatalp?
Az anyós nyelve.

Mi a bölcsesség?
Ha egy építőmester az új házára olyan keskeny bejárati ajtót tesz,hogy a kövér anyósa azon ne férjen be.

Mi a legnagyobb hazugság?
Az,hogyha az anyós a vejétől távozva azt mondja:volt szerencsém.

Mi a különbség a fűrész és az anyós között?
A fűrész minden fogával harap,az anyós pedig akkor kezd harapni,mikor már egy foga sincs.

Mi a különbség az anyós és a kalendárium között?
A kalendárium egy évre,az anyós egy napra sem jó.

Két macska van a háznál,egy fiatal és egy öreg.Mindkettő nőstény.Mindig veszekednek.Miért?
Az öreg macska a fiatal anyósa.

Mikor kell az anyóson gyújtást állítani?
Amikor nem indul az első rúgásra!

Mi a különbség a telepes rádió és az anyós között?
Semmi.Mindkettő földelve élvezhető.

Miért temetik az anyóst arccal lefelé?
Feltámadáskor lefelé kaparjon.

Hogyan célszerű kipróbálni az új hidat?
Rá kell küldeni 1000 anyóst.Ha bírja,jó,ha nem,annál jobb.

A vadász meddig nézi fél szemmel az anyóst?
Amíg meg nem húzza a ravaszt.

Melyik évszakban keserítheti meg az anyós a veje életét?
Tavasz,nyár,ősz és tél.

Mi a bigámiáért járó legnagyobb büntetés?
Két anyósa van.

Hány anyós kell ahhoz,hogy kicseréljenek egy villanykörtét?
Száz.Egyikük kicseréli a villanykörtét,a többi kilencvenkilenc meg azt hajtogatja:Ugye megmondtam,hogy ki fog égni!?

Mi a különbség az anyós és az esernyő között?
Az,hogy az esernyőt ki lehet tenni az ajtó elé.

Mi a bizonyítéka,hogy Ádám a paradicsomban élt?
Nem volt anyósa.

Mi a vegyes érzelem?
Nézni,hogy az anyósod szakadékba zuhan a vadonatúj saját kocsiddal.

Kép

 

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Hozzászólás megtekintése

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